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On the off chance you are ever pursued by a...

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On the off chance you are ever pursued by a Taxidermist. . Do NOT play dead!

3 years ago 3 years ago

On the off chance you are ever pursued by a Taxidermist. . Do NOT play dead!

by Richard Rejmer 3 years ago3 years ago

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…But that’s not my dog
For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere – A Winter Poem
What a fowl joke
With the Canada Post strike over, they’ve had to hire a few new people
You cannoli imagine what’s in my head.
Our sweet little marriage ceremony.
Divisive issue
That’s just rude
Oh, ok
Alicia took them.
Not another Astrology joke… *sigh*
Astrologers now
I just woke up, that aint happening
My crumbs would fall straight to the floor
And so many knives
Convulsively so, I’d presume.
I can’t judge.
Dice… The bane of my existence…
All dreams have meanings. My dreams:
I know better now
Not sad to see it go. . . Not looking forward to the next one either
What a dick
Just keep on twisting
Muppet Show fans will understand
I can get behind the 3rd one

…But that’s not my dog

…But that’s not my dog
For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere...

For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere...
What a fowl joke

What a fowl joke
With the Canada Post strike over, they’ve had...

With the Canada Post strike over, they’ve had...
You cannoli imagine what’s in my head.

You cannoli imagine what’s in my head.
Our sweet little marriage ceremony.

Our sweet little marriage ceremony.
Divisive issue

Divisive issue
That’s just rude

That’s just rude
Oh, ok

Oh, ok
Alicia took them.

Alicia took them.
Not another Astrology joke… *sigh*

Not another Astrology joke… *sigh*
Astrologers now

Astrologers now
I just woke up, that aint happening

I just woke up, that aint happening
My crumbs would fall straight to the floor

My crumbs would fall straight to the floor
And so many knives

And so many knives
Convulsively so, I’d presume.

Convulsively so, I’d presume.
I can’t judge.

I can’t judge.
Dice… The bane of my existence…

Dice… The bane of my existence…
All dreams have meanings. My dreams:

All dreams have meanings. My dreams:
I know better now

I know better now
Not sad to see it go. . ....

Not sad to see it go. . ....
What a dick

What a dick
Just keep on twisting

Just keep on twisting
Muppet Show fans will understand

Muppet Show fans will understand
I can get behind the 3rd one

I can get behind the 3rd one
It’s a lifestyle.

It’s a lifestyle.
Wing it

Wing it
Common misconception, but cats actually hate everybody the...

Common misconception, but cats actually hate everybody the...
You can tell that’s an actual horse because...

You can tell that’s an actual horse because...
Frontend problems are just harder to see

Frontend problems are just harder to see
This led me to playing Nintendo for 6...

This led me to playing Nintendo for 6...
Mr. And Mrs. Swan

Mr. And Mrs. Swan
Had me in stiches.

Had me in stiches.
The me of tomorrow cannot defend himself from...

The me of tomorrow cannot defend himself from...
😬

😬
Why thank you

Why thank you
How igloos are made in Sweden

How igloos are made in Sweden
Somebody got sprayed by a skunk

Somebody got sprayed by a skunk
Wondering about how to make it work…..

Wondering about how to make it work…..
e

e
And no wasps

And no wasps
Found this ancient book today. I think I’m...

Found this ancient book today. I think I’m...
Not a LoL but wow … just WOW!!

Not a LoL but wow … just WOW!!
Ah! Wouldn’t work here in France but still...

Ah! Wouldn’t work here in France but still...
Next, the TikTok carbonator …

Next, the TikTok carbonator …
Oh dear!

Oh dear!
Hmmm!

Hmmm!
MOAH!!

MOAH!!
m4a4 getting another delivery!

m4a4 getting another delivery!
“Where’s the baby?” – Sid, most likely.

“Where’s the baby?” – Sid, most likely.
My professor told me about the Appeal to...

My professor told me about the Appeal to...
Wed-nes-day

Wed-nes-day
🕸

🕸
*Smooch noises*

*Smooch noises*
Shhhhh, he’s sleeping

Shhhhh, he’s sleeping
It’s every day with this guy

It’s every day with this guy
Next time someone asks if the Pope is...

Next time someone asks if the Pope is...
“Ha, I’m in your mom!”

“Ha, I’m in your mom!”
Fair enough.

Fair enough.
Wouldn’t work for me. I pronounce words wrong...

Wouldn’t work for me. I pronounce words wrong...
Community announcment

Community announcment
Must’ve been a very realistic dream

Must’ve been a very realistic dream
You had ONE JOB!

You had ONE JOB!
The real threat with AI is this passive-aggressiveness

The real threat with AI is this passive-aggressiveness
He should have studied echology

He should have studied echology
I’m sitting on the fence with this one

I’m sitting on the fence with this one
I’m a simple man…

I’m a simple man…
Wa La!

Wa La!
Question everything.

Question everything.
“Snuck”

“Snuck”
Sounds like you composed yourself well.

Sounds like you composed yourself well.
Not again…

Not again…
I may not know much

I may not know much
Something to complain about

Something to complain about
Naw, not enough facial hair

Naw, not enough facial hair
Gotta sing louder

Gotta sing louder
Life has it’s ups and downs

Life has it’s ups and downs
Took me another try to get it ‘right’

Took me another try to get it ‘right’
NASA is still conducting essential and exciting space...

NASA is still conducting essential and exciting space...
It’s just easier from that side

It’s just easier from that side
The Rolling Scones Bakery

The Rolling Scones Bakery
Next is Uno!

Next is Uno!
It ain’t much, but it’s honest work

It ain’t much, but it’s honest work
You may.

You may.
Terrifying.

Terrifying.
Didn’t plan for that one

Didn’t plan for that one
A solid 3 inches here!

A solid 3 inches here!
Why you gotta call me out like that?

Why you gotta call me out like that?
Eclipse (And why showing your backside is called...

Eclipse (And why showing your backside is called...
Just change Moscow to New York and it...

Just change Moscow to New York and it...
Say No More

Say No More
Oh, you snared me with that one.

Oh, you snared me with that one.
Nobody

Nobody
Trust no one

Trust no one
CALVIN!!!!!

CALVIN!!!!!
Spoiler: the dog wins

Spoiler: the dog wins
I’d have to do a double take too

I’d have to do a double take too
Tragic

Tragic
**you get your first of many

**you get your first of many
Still not enough ketchup

Still not enough ketchup

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