Two lumps, please

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Two lumps, please

2 months ago 2 months ago

Two lumps, please

by Shivvy bot 2 months ago2 months ago

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I misjudged how long a microsecond was
If I can’t, I won’t.
This is true! I met one last week and his name was Steve.
I hear they struggled putting the casket lid on
He looks so happy 😊
Well, I will. But I judge everyone
Gosh, that would have been hard to do …. oh, wait….
Brotherly love
A sound investment
Or someone’s laugh just makes things funnier
Look, I don’t know what we’ll need this for, yet, but we’re going to need it.
I don’t need glasses either
They said I didn’t need to be that specific…
Bewahren!
Hey, they made an anime about me??
So that you can be milliliterate
Predictably Australian.
Oh dear!
Je suis d’accord!!
Forget about ‘Die Hard’ …
I give this an ᗆ+
Striking!
I mean, you can see it coming a mile away, but it’s still satisfying.
Surprised it’s not rule 34.
My life, summarised in a sticker.

I misjudged how long a microsecond was

I misjudged how long a microsecond was
If I can’t, I won’t.

If I can’t, I won’t.
This is true! I met one last week...

This is true! I met one last week...
I hear they struggled putting the casket lid...

I hear they struggled putting the casket lid...
He looks so happy 😊

He looks so happy 😊
Well, I will. But I judge everyone

Well, I will. But I judge everyone
Gosh, that would have been hard to do...

Gosh, that would have been hard to do...
Brotherly love

Brotherly love
A sound investment

A sound investment
Or someone’s laugh just makes things funnier

Or someone’s laugh just makes things funnier
Look, I don’t know what we’ll need this...

Look, I don’t know what we’ll need this...
I don’t need glasses either

I don’t need glasses either
They said I didn’t need to be that...

They said I didn’t need to be that...
Bewahren!

Bewahren!
Hey, they made an anime about me??

Hey, they made an anime about me??
So that you can be milliliterate

So that you can be milliliterate
Predictably Australian.

Predictably Australian.
Oh dear!

Oh dear!
Je suis d’accord!!

Je suis d’accord!!
Forget about ‘Die Hard’ …

Forget about ‘Die Hard’ …
I give this an ᗆ+

I give this an ᗆ+
Striking!

Striking!
I mean, you can see it coming a...

I mean, you can see it coming a...
Surprised it’s not rule 34.

Surprised it’s not rule 34.
My life, summarised in a sticker.

My life, summarised in a sticker.
No, that’s clearly pepperoni

No, that’s clearly pepperoni
I would have pointed out the computer, myself.

I would have pointed out the computer, myself.
And his squire, Hutch.

And his squire, Hutch.
Oh, they don’t mean like, cretaceous, jurassic, etc…...

Oh, they don’t mean like, cretaceous, jurassic, etc…...
It’s in the can

It’s in the can
Oh, how I would love for the treating...

Oh, how I would love for the treating...
Oblivion is re-releasing this year!

Oblivion is re-releasing this year!
Be sure to wipe your mud flaps, if...

Be sure to wipe your mud flaps, if...
Followed by penne for your THOTs

Followed by penne for your THOTs
Quite sure it would work

Quite sure it would work
And then he answered in private messages…

And then he answered in private messages…
Brownflush

Brownflush
I dunno, Worf got his ass kicked by...

I dunno, Worf got his ass kicked by...
It’s definitely a cut above.

It’s definitely a cut above.
Mt Everest

Mt Everest
Apparently Baby Gronk is some football kid? I...

Apparently Baby Gronk is some football kid? I...
Firefighters will arrive in 4-5 months

Firefighters will arrive in 4-5 months
Help!!!! Please!!!

Help!!!! Please!!!
I think Zoom has this feature too, for...

I think Zoom has this feature too, for...
He shoots! HE SCORES!

He shoots! HE SCORES!
Worth bringing back

Worth bringing back
Just a demi-tasse

Just a demi-tasse
Technically correct (the best kind of correct).

Technically correct (the best kind of correct).
So that’s where it is.

So that’s where it is.
No sir, I did not pursue, she followed...

No sir, I did not pursue, she followed...
Maybe if you’re okay with it, I can...

Maybe if you’re okay with it, I can...
[Warning: loud sound effects] Weirdest advent calendar, but...

[Warning: loud sound effects] Weirdest advent calendar, but...
So, same as everyone else, yea?

So, same as everyone else, yea?
ACKSHUALLY that’s the Enterprise-A *athsmatic noises*

ACKSHUALLY that’s the Enterprise-A *athsmatic noises*
Everything is edible except for “mystic moments”…. what...

Everything is edible except for “mystic moments”…. what...
Here to kick quacks and chew soggy bread....

Here to kick quacks and chew soggy bread....
56……Huh, what do you mean it’s wrong?…… oh…….

56……Huh, what do you mean it’s wrong?…… oh…….
Uh, you’re about to be called in for...

Uh, you’re about to be called in for...
I think that’s how Studio Ghibli got started.

I think that’s how Studio Ghibli got started.
Go ahead, laugh. Vent your liver a little...

Go ahead, laugh. Vent your liver a little...
If it ain’t one thing, it’s number one...

If it ain’t one thing, it’s number one...
How to pick up a rake

How to pick up a rake
Drat, I was hoping they’d turn around!

Drat, I was hoping they’d turn around!
It’s okay, ziy was doing laser-and-release

It’s okay, ziy was doing laser-and-release
The logic is inescapable

The logic is inescapable
A Song of Fire and Ice – a...

A Song of Fire and Ice – a...
Where is an anal bum cover when you...

Where is an anal bum cover when you...
Espelling

Espelling
I’m thinking of a number …. number 2

I’m thinking of a number …. number 2
I have a blanket that I recieved as...

I have a blanket that I recieved as...
Genuwine. Gennuwine. Genouwyne? Why isn’t this working??

Genuwine. Gennuwine. Genouwyne? Why isn’t this working??
Looks like they’ve got COVID, folks

Looks like they’ve got COVID, folks
Well, at least she can laugh at herself

Well, at least she can laugh at herself
Poppy, toad, mushroom. Hmmmm…..

Poppy, toad, mushroom. Hmmmm…..
I regret to inform you all that I...

I regret to inform you all that I...
Do it!

Do it!
Look, everyone’s allowed to show off their booty...

Look, everyone’s allowed to show off their booty...
Remember to unplug your battery if you’re working...

Remember to unplug your battery if you’re working...
That and the lighting choices.

That and the lighting choices.
Mr. Reservoir, I presume?

Mr. Reservoir, I presume?
Sounds like a Code Brown scenario

Sounds like a Code Brown scenario
Next to a cul-de-sac, no doubt.

Next to a cul-de-sac, no doubt.
This never would have happened with Bill Nye

This never would have happened with Bill Nye
Oh good, this pool has a rescue guitar!

Oh good, this pool has a rescue guitar!
E&E??

E&E??
What, no boots?

What, no boots?
Pass the tissues and the morphine please

Pass the tissues and the morphine please
Joking aside, actually a great accessibility device and...

Joking aside, actually a great accessibility device and...
The best electrical source varies by region (not...

The best electrical source varies by region (not...
Exhibit A, this contract we had to sign...

Exhibit A, this contract we had to sign...
*snork*

*snork*
Oh dear!

Oh dear!
Early days …

Early days …
Well, saved the local graffiti ‘artists’ a job.

Well, saved the local graffiti ‘artists’ a job.
I wonder if I could make a song...

I wonder if I could make a song...
Why is there a pinch of salt at...

Why is there a pinch of salt at...
If you round to the nearest whole number,...

If you round to the nearest whole number,...
Pansexual, I suppose?

Pansexual, I suppose?
….Stealing memes someone else made with chatgpt doesn’t...

….Stealing memes someone else made with chatgpt doesn’t...
You have my word that I will not...

You have my word that I will not...